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Letting Go can’t be a conceptual idea, it has to be a release, grounded in the body, exhaled on the breath, released in the belly and the jaw because guess what? What we actually have control over is our reactions. And pretty much nothing else.
Read MoreWe "other" our emotions, and parts of ourselves all the time, without even knowing it. We ALL have feelings, coping strategies, and needs that have gone unmet or unseen. There have been times in our lives when who we are and how we've expressed ourselves have been rejected by the people around us. Or they've been so painful or shameful that we have buried them deep inside of us, we have rejected these parts of ourselves. This is not unusual, this is not unique- this is what we do. It's ok. Deep breath. Slower. Again.
I had been saying to them, on some level, with some habitual and almost subconscious form of commumication, "YOU ARE NOT OK, I DON'T LIKE YOU, I WILL ONLY LIKE YOU IF YOU CHANGE." Can you imagine talking to someone else like that? Or someon else's body? Never.
So I changed the conversation.
To be brutally honest, I would be completely justified in hating my body. It would be understandable if I felt betrayed, angry and resentful of my body.
But my body and I have become friends. Good friends. We're besties. This body has shown me that symptoms come and go, emotions come and go, and in fact, shocker- everything comes and goes. My body has taught me about immpermanence. And in this learning, I have fallen in love. Deeply.
We laid our sweet Ali to rest at the base of a young maple tree, facing the glorious Rocky mountains, running water, and fields of green under the big blue Colorado sky. Us angels, we put in notes of love, Tibetan prayers and the end of an era of our lives- our lives caring for Ali, in the ground with her ashes.
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