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I had been saying to them, on some level, with some habitual and almost subconscious form of commumication, "YOU ARE NOT OK, I DON'T LIKE YOU, I WILL ONLY LIKE YOU IF YOU CHANGE." Can you imagine talking to someone else like that? Or someon else's body? Never.
So I changed the conversation.
To be brutally honest, I would be completely justified in hating my body. It would be understandable if I felt betrayed, angry and resentful of my body.
But my body and I have become friends. Good friends. We're besties. This body has shown me that symptoms come and go, emotions come and go, and in fact, shocker- everything comes and goes. My body has taught me about immpermanence. And in this learning, I have fallen in love. Deeply.
There was always someone to hug, kiss, play with their hair, etc...The huge amount of love I have in my body-being was able to express itself to willing subjects and I felt so nourished and met, I was in heaven.
Now the problem with this is, that when everyone left, I am now back in my own small family with a deeply introverted husband and son, and a tween son at that, who is appropriately and thank heavens, expressing boundaries around how often I can kiss him and attack him with my mama bear love. When I say "I love you" he says "I am aware of this." I call this a victory. But ..where then, does all this love go?
Do I indentify with the emotions and storm of my current irritation/upheavel or do I relax back a few steps? Can I instead relate with that best self, the one who lives in me, ever present, ever available. She is ancient. She is strong. Her body is soft and welcoming, her hips are wide, her arms are open. In a word, she is home.
Read MoreThe birthright of our sense pleasures don't increase the stock market, or lead to more economic stability for the good old U S of A. Nope. The are simply available to us. Always. And when we treasure them as the gift they are, then we are rich. When we feel rich, we are generous. When we are generous, the whole damn world benefits.
