OTHERING #1

Photo by Dasha Gaian

"By 'othering', we mean any action by which an individual or group becomes mentally classified in somebody’s mind as “not one of us”.
Rather than always remembering that every person is a complex bundle of emotions, ideas, motivations, reflexes, priorities, and many other subtle aspects, it’s sometimes easier to dismiss them as being in some way less human, and less worthy of respect and dignity,
than we are."

There are no others

Let's start from the very beginning. A very good place to start.

This will be a series on othering, so let's begin at home, with us, with our bodies. We other our bodies, our body parts, all the time. Whether it's because a certain muscle group, system or organ doesn't function the way we want it to, or isn't as strong as we would like, or maybe there's a part of us that's covered in cellulite and 3x our desired shape and size, or maybe there's a part of us that's much longer or smaller than we would wish....it is natural for us to other that part. I believe it happens almost unconciously, but we mentally and emotionally other this body part, we make it not ok as it is, we subtly shame it or push it away, we don't look at it, touch it, praise it, or love it. We may even hide it by the style of clothing we wear. (Guilty)

By doing this to ourselves, to our bodies, we are only hurting ourselves.

A few years ago, I realized I'd been othering my butt and thighs, for around, about, I dunno, my whole teenage and adult life. I had been saying to them, on some level, with some habitual and almost subconscious form of commumication, "YOU ARE NOT OK, I DON'T LIKE YOU, I WILL ONLY LIKE YOU IF YOU CHANGE." Can you imagine talking to someone else like that? Or someon else's body? Never.
So I changed the conversation.
"Ok, body parts, I feel you. And you belong. You belong with me, at least for this life, and you are welcome here, as you are." I did this through my hands, my eyes, my heart, my dance movements. I have now been welcoming home my butt for years and we have a different kind of relationship. Is this the butt I'd choose out of a catalogue? Not necessarily. But are we in a loving, compassionate, humorous relationship with mutual understanding and appreciation? Yup.

I also am in this dance, this conversation with my viscera, with my organs, with the parts of my body I need to detox lyme and mold, and get me back on track. We are a team, a mutual support system, they know I love and appreciate them, and they are doing their best to have my back and move through this process with me, as a team.

So this week let's focus on bringing home, welcome back, being in relationship with parts of our body, inside or out, that we have othered. Next week, we'll examine othering in more ways...
For now, dance home your othered parts.