HONOR YOUR VESSEL

Art by Rithika Merchant

“Seeing, feeling ourselves, as we are, with agency to shape the future ... that’s the miracle."
Adrienne Maree Brown

To be brutally honest, I would be completely justified in hating my body. It would be understandable if I felt betrayed, angry and resentful of my body. First of all, every single media image I have consumed for the majority of my life, let me know I'm broken and wrong because I'm not a 6' tall model who weighs 78 lbs.
There's that.
And I've relaxed into my size and shape with more acceptance, appreciation and adoration every year. Yay 40's! But that's not the meat of it.

This body suffers. A lot. And frequently.
After feeling unbelievable for the month of July, I began to wonder, is this what it's like for most people? Do most people not suffer from some iteration of migraines, exhaution, joint and muscle pain, brain fog, insomnia, etc.?
Huh!
That was revelation- feeling mostly symptom free for a whole freaking month.

But now my body is crashing again, flooded with mold and lyme toxins that I can't detox fast enough, so I about half the time I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

A few years ago this would've set me into a spiral of anxiety, fear, depression and despair. Am I sick again? Am I going down so hard I can't get back up? Will I always feel like this?

But things have changed. I'm not going there. Not at all.
Why?
Because my body and I have become friends. Good friends. We're besties. This body has shown me that symptoms come and go, emotions come and go, and in fact, shocker- everything comes and goes. My body has taught me about immpermanence. And in this learning, I have fallen in love. Deeply.
My body has taught me that if I can stay present, embodied, and feel myself from the inside out, my body can get through anything! I can get through anything!
My body is my greatest resource, and when I shower her with love, with appreciation, with respect, with listening above all- she reciprocates.
If I override, I crash. If I listen, and follow, and move gently with pleasure instead of pushing with punishment, I thrive.

So I trust this vessel. I trust this body to be the perfect delivery system for my medicine and magic in the world. I trust that this body has chosen this size and shape, and even these chronic illness struggles, and that by having my own back through the ups and downs, I can get through, and often even enjoy, almost anything.

Your dance invitation this week is to honor your body. To love on your body. To be as kind and generous with your body as you are with the bodies of the beings you love.