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For decades I lived in fear of the deep, dark, unknown depth that I believed festered inside my belly. I unwittingly tried to avoid it via distraction, for, like ever. I imagined if I truly dove in and took a look, I'd never survive what I found. But it doesn't really work like this. There is not one single monster inside us, waiting to jump out and attack when we finally shine our flashlight in its direction.
Read MoreThere was always someone to hug, kiss, play with their hair, etc...The huge amount of love I have in my body-being was able to express itself to willing subjects and I felt so nourished and met, I was in heaven.
Now the problem with this is, that when everyone left, I am now back in my own small family with a deeply introverted husband and son, and a tween son at that, who is appropriately and thank heavens, expressing boundaries around how often I can kiss him and attack him with my mama bear love. When I say "I love you" he says "I am aware of this." I call this a victory. But ..where then, does all this love go?
